Be overflowing … – Wisdom of the Sufis

Be overflowing with peace and joy,
and scatter them wherever you are
and wherever you go.

Be a blazing fire of truth,
be a beauteous blossom of love
and be a soothing balm of peace.

With your spiritual light,
dispel the darkness of ignorance;
dissolve the clouds of discord and war
and spread goodwill, peace, and harmony among the people.

Moinuddin Chishti, Sufi saint of the Chishti Order

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Victory!

My blood sugars have been, on average, much better :)
My blood sugars have been, on average, much better than before. So long as this trend continues, they’ll be excellent in no time.

In the last 2 months I’ve made observable progress in how well I manage living with type 1 diabetes. Alas! I am winning my competition against diabetes. So long as I don’t become complacent, I will be victorious.

May the bitterness of defeat remain far from my lips from this point forward! In The 12 years I’ve lived with diabetes, I have tasted defeat far too often. Never again!

For the latter part of 2013, diabetes remained ahead of me on the scoreboard. It wasn’t until mid-December that I started turning things around.

My rally from behind began when I strengthened up my defenses against diabetes burnout. Introspective writing was my means of doing so.

With my defenses shored up, I went on the offensive. My initial target was blood glucose testing. Raising my testing frequency was a preliminary step for adequate control over my diabetes.

When the time was right – during late January – I began to increase my physical activity. That’s when things really began to improve.

As of right now, my 7 day average is 174, whereas, previously, it was in the low to upper 200s. This decrease hasn’t come at the cost of more lows. This improvement is, therefore, sustainable.

Going forward, my strategy will remain the same: to reduce my average blood sugars while trying to prevent hypoglycemia. So long as I stick to this strategy, I will defeat type 1 diabetes.

Join the Crusade

Test Guess and Go

Sue B_Head Square Medicare guidelines do not provide for coverage of Continuous Glucose Monitors I am an advocate for my husband who desperately needs a new CGM and previously received CGM coverage under private insurance before reaching age 65.  I am a crusader for the entire diabetes community, whether you are on Medicare, will soon be on Medicare, have a Continuous Glucose Monitor presently, or might need one in the future.

In December 2013 Representative Carol Shea-Porter [D-NH1] introduced a bill into Congress, H.R. 3710: Medicare CGM Coverage Act, which provides for coverage of Continuous Glucose Monitoring Systems by Medicare if recommended by a doctor. My recent post Baby Steps talked about the bill and many members of the Diabetes Online Community (DOC) asked how they could become involved in this crusade.

I have just received an email from Congresswoman Shea-Porter’s Legislative Assistant, Marjorie Connolly, and she suggested the following:

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I’ve got 99 problems and insomnia’s one

“To me, success is the ongoing process of striving to become more. It is the opportunity to continually grow….while contributing in some positive way to others. The road to success is always under construction. It is a progressive course, not an end to be reached.” – Anthony Robins, ‘Unlimited Power’

Insomnia has reared its ugly head. I’m feeling tired…oh so tired.

My mind is enveloped by a thick blanket of fog, but my eyes are as dry as a crisp winter day.

I hate insomnia. It’s an obstacle to that which I hold dear. Like diabetes, it makes everything more difficult.

Writing no longer comes with ease. It has become an arduous task. I had intended to update this dblog on Monday, but my tiredness sabotaged my attempts to write.

My intellect has been hit by insomnia as well. I love to think. I love intellectual stimulation, and seek it out. I love to ponder the mysteries of life, and dream about the possibilities of the future. Insomnia is an intruder. It gets in the way of these things.

Socially, I feel inept. Like my energy, my sociality has melted away. Face to face social interaction has become a chore. Conversations have become impossible to follow. Manners have disappeared.

I’d be a dishonest SOB if I plastered on a smile and claimed everything was going well. Insomnia’s making life less than ideal; however, things could be worse.

Although insomnia’s making my life less than ideal, having to deal with blood sugar problems in addition to insomnia’s much worse. Remarkably, my blood sugars remain at an acceptable level. This is atypical.

In every situation, positives and negatives can be found…

Although insomnia’s making my life less than ideal, it isn’t causing me any dire problems. It isn’t getting in the way of my day to day life. In the grand scheme of things, it isn’t a big deal.

In every situation, positives and negatives can be found…

Although insomnia’s making my life less than ideal, there are worse afflictions. Impoverishment, oppression, harassment, HIV/AIDS, cancer, etc. are all more extreme afflictions. Insomnia doesn’t prevent me from actualizing my self to the same extent as those other afflictions. Eudemonia is still possible. I can still flourish.

In every situation, positives and negatives can be found… How we interpret our circumstances is a matter of perspective. Our mood, our standards of judgement, etc. all mould our interpretation. The mind is not passive.

I’ve dealt with insomnia for years, but my approach hasn’t been fruitful. This has been a common theme in my life. More often that not, I’ve taken a pessimistic view of things. I’ve always had a knack for criticism, but a lack in my ability to see the bright side of life. My perspective on my life has often lacked balance.

For the past 4-5 years I’ve been rectifying this…

This post is but one component of a greater process that has been going on for years, and will continue to go on indefinitely.

Self-improvement has been my telos and moving beyond pessimism is a necessary goal if I’m going to accomplish my purpose.

I have a choice in how I will accomplish my goal.

My strategy is this: to focus on developing new habits rather than fighting old ones.

In effect, this means that I’m going to allow myself to continue looking at the negative side of things. Rather than expending my finite energy on fighting this habit, I’m going to focus on getting into the habit of looking for positives after I’ve looked at the negatives. I’m going to cultivate a balanced perspective.

By moving beyond optimism and pessimism, I’ll be able to take a more realistic view of life. By taking this perspective, I’ll, hopefully, allow myself to flourish.

What are my standards of success?

How do I define success? By which standards do I judge my actions? I’m vexed.

Until recently, I wholeheartedly believed that I had overcome my perfectionistic tendencies. All too often, self-perception is self-deception.

For four long years I struggled valiantly to rid myself of perfectionism. Did I struggle in vain?

For four long years I struggled vainly to rid myself of perfectionism. Did my unskillful approach sabotage my valiant efforts?

My thought’s are a series of questions and question marks… Uncertainty abounds… Shards of glass encircle me.

Despite all of this, I feel at home. Peace. Serenity. Freedom. These three are my closest confidants.

Despite all of this, I don’t feel lost. Shock. Anxiety. Paralysis. These three know nothing of me.

Creative destruction. A certain self-perception has been destroyed. In its place, a blank piece of paper has appeared. Creativity can now blossom.

I thought I had overcome perfectionism. I had overcome perfectionism in the realm of thought alone, and my judgement was clouded.

My thinking was wishful, but clarity’s been restored.

While pondering a post that I’d written recently, I realized that my perfectionism had merely changed forms.

By objective standards, the lapse in adequate diabetes management that I wrote about in the aforementioned post was insignificant. The problem was subjective. It was due to my interpretation of events, and my projections of the future.

I interpreted this incident as being problematic because it disrupted the story I told myself about my recovery from diabetes burnout. It shattered the myth of a perfect recovery.

In my myth, I was perfectly strong and, therefore, able to effortlessly overcome any obstacle. I didn’t expect myself to stumble so early in the story. When I did stumble, frustration struck me.

I’m grateful for how things transpired…

Going forward, I need to be more realistic. I need to make a less inflated estimation of my own strength. I need to account for setbacks… I still need to reconcile with my fallibility.

Creative destruction. An old story has been destroyed. In its place, I can create a new, more realistic one.