I’ve got 99 problems and insomnia’s one

“To me, success is the ongoing process of striving to become more. It is the opportunity to continually grow….while contributing in some positive way to others. The road to success is always under construction. It is a progressive course, not an end to be reached.” – Anthony Robins, ‘Unlimited Power’

Insomnia has reared its ugly head. I’m feeling tired…oh so tired.

My mind is enveloped by a thick blanket of fog, but my eyes are as dry as a crisp winter day.

I hate insomnia. It’s an obstacle to that which I hold dear. Like diabetes, it makes everything more difficult.

Writing no longer comes with ease. It has become an arduous task. I had intended to update this dblog on Monday, but my tiredness sabotaged my attempts to write.

My intellect has been hit by insomnia as well. I love to think. I love intellectual stimulation, and seek it out. I love to ponder the mysteries of life, and dream about the possibilities of the future. Insomnia is an intruder. It gets in the way of these things.

Socially, I feel inept. Like my energy, my sociality has melted away. Face to face social interaction has become a chore. Conversations have become impossible to follow. Manners have disappeared.

I’d be a dishonest SOB if I plastered on a smile and claimed everything was going well. Insomnia’s making life less than ideal; however, things could be worse.

Although insomnia’s making my life less than ideal, having to deal with blood sugar problems in addition to insomnia’s much worse. Remarkably, my blood sugars remain at an acceptable level. This is atypical.

In every situation, positives and negatives can be found…

Although insomnia’s making my life less than ideal, it isn’t causing me any dire problems. It isn’t getting in the way of my day to day life. In the grand scheme of things, it isn’t a big deal.

In every situation, positives and negatives can be found…

Although insomnia’s making my life less than ideal, there are worse afflictions. Impoverishment, oppression, harassment, HIV/AIDS, cancer, etc. are all more extreme afflictions. Insomnia doesn’t prevent me from actualizing my self to the same extent as those other afflictions. Eudemonia is still possible. I can still flourish.

In every situation, positives and negatives can be found… How we interpret our circumstances is a matter of perspective. Our mood, our standards of judgement, etc. all mould our interpretation. The mind is not passive.

I’ve dealt with insomnia for years, but my approach hasn’t been fruitful. This has been a common theme in my life. More often that not, I’ve taken a pessimistic view of things. I’ve always had a knack for criticism, but a lack in my ability to see the bright side of life. My perspective on my life has often lacked balance.

For the past 4-5 years I’ve been rectifying this…

This post is but one component of a greater process that has been going on for years, and will continue to go on indefinitely.

Self-improvement has been my telos and moving beyond pessimism is a necessary goal if I’m going to accomplish my purpose.

I have a choice in how I will accomplish my goal.

My strategy is this: to focus on developing new habits rather than fighting old ones.

In effect, this means that I’m going to allow myself to continue looking at the negative side of things. Rather than expending my finite energy on fighting this habit, I’m going to focus on getting into the habit of looking for positives after I’ve looked at the negatives. I’m going to cultivate a balanced perspective.

By moving beyond optimism and pessimism, I’ll be able to take a more realistic view of life. By taking this perspective, I’ll, hopefully, allow myself to flourish.

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