Sometimes diabetes is TOO easy

Stasis is the antithesis of life. Like a river in springtime, life flows constantly.

This philosophy – this process metaphysics – has been my personal philosophy for the past 5 years. It’s a worldview that I was first exposed to through two great traditions of the East: Taoism and Buddhism.  Although I’m neither a Taoist nor a Buddhist, they’ve certainly influenced my own philosophy.

Initially, this change-centric conception of the world merely intrigued me. The novelty of it seduced me. In time, I began to reflect  upon my life and knowledge of history. I discovered that, in the main, change is the law of life – both of people and of nations.

Life is the Great Teacher. Over the past 5 years, I’ve learned countless lessons. My awareness has expanded. The implications of change is now clearer to me.

What was once a philosophy learned mostly from books ( such as the Tao Te Ching) has become deeply personal. Life is the ground out of which our philosophies grow and receive their nourishment.

My recent experiences with type 1 diabetes has nourished my understanding.

What I have come to the realization of can be sumarized thusly: With new circumstances come new challenges.

Let me show you what I mean.

Back in December – prior to starting this diabetes blog – I was burnt out. On a brisk December night – in the first week of the month – I experienced a stubborn high. Everything I did was for naught.

I drank water like a fish. I did a correction with a syringe. I did everything that I’ve been taught to do over at the Joslin Center. My actions helped, but only a little. My blood glucose levels remained above 350 for 12 hours.

Did I mention that I was panicked?

This event made me realize that I was experiencing diabetes burnout, and I realized that I’d have to climb out of the deep, dark hole that I’d stumbled into. I procrastinated.

Just to be clear, at this point I did desire to liberate myself from my situation. The psychological barriers to me doing so were still too high. It would take another unpleasant event to spur me into taking serious action to rectify my situation.

It took another stubborn high to motivate me to take decisive action. I knew that I had to rise above the frustration and fear that I was experiencing. I coped with it (mainly) through writing. This d-blog played an essential part in that process of recovery.

Back then, managing my type 1 diabetes adequately was too difficult. Therein lied my problem. It’s the reverse today. Now that managing diabetes is no longer a psychological burden, T1D has become too easy to manage.

The ease with which I’m managing my diabetes isn’t bad, per se. The problem lies in how it impacts my attitude and actions.

There’s a very real possibility that, given my psychological makeup, I’ll become lax, and allow unskillful diabetes to creep back in.

I have reached the publishing deadline that I have set for myself. This post will come to an abrupt con…….

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Sometimes diabetes is TOO easy”

  1. This is true. There’s a saying that goes (something like) the hardest 90% of the effort only reaps 10% of the rewards. So, in reverse, you can save yourself a lot of stress and not make much of a difference in the overall diabetes management. (And, the effects of that savings in stress might just make up for that last 10% anyway!)

  2. I think your “panicked” feeling made your high even worse…. and a lot more suborn to get to come down. That happened to me earlier in the year, and after my dad, step-mom, fiance and his parents started to get more and more worried about me and my diabetes, it became uncontrollable. My meter kept reading “HIGH” for hours on end, and they forced me to go to the ER.
    In the ER, I realized that the doctors weren’t gonna do anything that I couldn’t do at home. They gave me shots of insulin, and made me drink a lot of water to flush out my system. After the 2nd shot, I told them it was too much, but they gave it to me anyway. After being released, my blood sugar dropped to 36 in the middle of the night. I knew that would happen… but the “doctors knew better.” Pshh… I know how to deal with my diabetes, and how much insulin is going to bring my blood sugars to a normal level.
    I think that’s what you need to learn more about. Yourself. And how diabetes effects you. Once you understand how your body reacts to certain foods, certain mood swings and how much insulin your body really needs, you’ll become a pro at managing your diabetes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s