THIS IS TYPE 1 DIABETES…
I was tired and wanted to go to bed. The problem: stubborn lows prevented me from going to bed.
This happened twice last week.
Although these incidences were outwardly similar, my reactions were significantly different.
Whereas, during the first incident I reacted stoically, during the second I reacted with a cocktail of self-pity, anger, and other negative emotions. During the former, I felt no need to express myself; during the later, I felt the need to rant on twitter.
Despite reacting differently while they were happening, I felt the same way the day after. It is difficult for me to explain exactly how I felt, but it was not a bad feeling.
(I do not believe in taking a half-assed approach. Therefore, I am going to at least try to express how I felt…)
True…I felt tired; however, tiredness did not dominate.
I felt proud…a sense of accomplishment…triumphant.
Although I felt the same after each of these instances, my thoughts differed.
After the first incident, my diabetes-related thoughts centered around how I was emotionally impervious to the problems that diabetes had thrown at me the night before. I thought about how emotionally mature I was in handling it.
After the second incident, my diabetes-related thoughts centered around how, even when diabetes causes me to stumble, I will continue marching forward.
- For the last few weeks I have been getting a decent amount of sleep (given my repeated “bouts” of insomnia, I often go through long periods of limited sleep);
- My sister was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes on April 1st;
- I have recently been experiencing more hypoglycemia;
- Since mid-April I have felt immensely proud of myself;
- Generally speaking, I have felt pleased with my blood sugars;
- I have not been exercising frequently;
- I have not been meditating regularly;
- I have been reading quite a bit;
- I have been writing prolifically;
- There have been no major sources of stress in my life recently;
- I was not aware of feeling stressed out.