Tag Archives: Avant-Garde

WTF have I been doing?

I admire progressive rock.

The Avant-Garde intrigues me.

Do these two statements seem unrelated? I assure you they are not.

My admiration for these two cultural movements is independent of their “accomplishments.” In fact, they produce quite a bit of garbage.

Their attitude. Their spirt. That is what I appreciate most.

Willingness to “fail”

Playfulness

Rejection of convention

Artistic experimentation

yada yada yada

The spirit of the artist was alive and thrived.

They manifested admirable courage, as well as great folly.

When I started this diabetes blog, I wanted the writing on this blog to embody some aspects of their spirit. Furthermore, it was essential that I be creative in doing so.

Dada artists used the term anti-art.

This was to be my anti-blog.

My focus on diabetes was to be more or less foggy…

I rejected using pictures in most posts for the hell of it…

When I write, I write chiefly for myself…

I eschew editing…

I avoid writing too clearly…

Coherence is secondary…

Organization is overrated …

Having a topic, a myth.

Sound blogging advice was thrown out the window.

Unsound whims were given a chance to speak.

I decide.

To be independent of particular forms, imposed from without – that was my aim.

I seek to learn, not mimic.

Creative tension. Simultaneously, I set out to create a blog that people would read and, in some way, benefit from.

This is the artistic vision I had.

Blurry shapes…that is all that I could see.

————

WTF have I been doing? I have been carrying out my vision.

I have also been adding to it.

I have merely been doing that which I set out to do since day 1.

Since mid-April, I have been doing the same thing differently.

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Flipping the Birdie to Perfectionism

ADHD is being particularly meddlesome today. I can’t stay focused. As soon as I focus on something, my mind starts to wonder elsewhere. I’m not even able to absorb myself into the act of writing. I’m struggling to write, and it’s not do to a lack of ideas. Rather, there’s an overabundance of them.

I say this to bring to light a fact about blogging: it doesn’t always come easy. Oftentimes, a lot of work goes on “behind the scene’s.” What the reader is left with is a heavily polished product. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. I just don’t want my blog to be like that.

I want to have a blog that takes a more avant-garde approach… yet, I want readers – a lot of them. These two aims can and will clash.

I don’t want to allow any facade’s to be erected. I want my imperfections as a writer to shine through. This contrary to my own perfectionism, my societies unhealthy obsession with perfection, and, sometimes, writing conventions. I do this not as an end in itself, but as a statement.

Perfectionism isn’t good for anybody. For people with type 1 diabetes it’s particularly bad. [distracted by snow] Prior to being distractedly, I did have a complete thought – and I still remember it – but I’m not going to complete it. [briefly distracted by nothing in particular].

I’m not leaving that thought incomplete in order to be an asshole. I’m leaving it incomplete in order to given you a taste of what it’s like to have ADHD. Look on the bright side: you don’t have to deal with a mind that’s so unfocused…so easily distracted.

Anyways…I to get some more coffee and get back to putting finishing touches on the post I’ve been trying to get done. You’ll see that one later.

PS this short post (somehow) took 48 minutes to complete

This is Life – A Reflection on a High Blood Sugar

Question markYesterday I was 324. I know what you are probably thinking: “So? What’s the point?” Please, read on… fight the urge to give up, and the point will be clear to us eventually.

As you read the proceeding words, keep this in mind: I mention something that’s seemingly so insignificant for a reason. A very good reason…

Here’s a hint: it is here. That hint isn’t helpful, I know. It is too ambiguous. Ambiguity leaves us feeling… uncomfortable, and we often have the urge to flee. For those who say no to this urge, however, there may be a reward.

Back to my number… that mere number… that not-so-uncommon-especially-as-of-late blood glucose reading.

Numbers in the 300s have become a common occurrence. This number in the 300s, however, was unique…. the singularity of this particular number is something that language fails to adequately grasp.

Words often fail us, and that which we’ve been struggling to express is left unsaid.

When I experience blood sugars like this I typically, out of habit, correct it.  If other people are around and they do anything annoying I’ll express my displeasure through my not-so-subtle tone of voice. Anyway… That’s beside the point.

Now, if you’ve managed to read your way through these meandering words you deserve a cookie for your patience. Patience is often a virtue. If you have given up, I’m sending you a sugar free cookie because sugar free food sucks and you’re a big meanie. :p

Back to our main point… whatever that may be.

Something stood out about this number in the 300s… this number in the 300s was different from the countless other similar one’s. This difference was there, but wasn’t fully present to me at first. All I could see were broad outlines.

By now, if you’re not exasperated and/or trying to figure out why I keep blathering on about a stupid number, you might be wonder “what made this number different?” The answer is: absolutely nothing made this number different. Yet, there was a difference.

Welcome to the land of apparently trite distinctions.

The difference was this: this number, although ordinary, had an extra-ordinary impact on me.  I experienced it as something inspiring, and not as something merely mundane.

Now “back” to a main point: the Main Point is a lie. There are many points, but no Point. The point’s are what you appropriate from my blog postYou are free.

This blog post is life.

Life is strange. As our life takes its twists and turns, we are faced with many unexpected occurrences. There are moments of bewildernment, moments of exuberance,  moments of inspiration, moments of dullness, etc. There are seemingly infinite possibilities.

What you choose to focus on, and how you choose to approach events both give your life a certain tinge and help influence the lessons we gain therefrom.

In life, what might be mundane for one person might me a source of great inspiration for another. Who are we do say for sure what is ordinary and what is extraordinary?

In our lives, the opinions of other people often act to circumscribe our interpretation of events – often times without us even noticing. In fact, the previous 3 paragraph (perhaps more), did just that.

Perhaps, in the end, that which was hidden from you in the very beginning will be unveiled.