Tag Archives: Blog

What is this blog?

This blog centers on an individuals life.

It is an artists’ gallery, with a multitude of paintings adorning
its walls. In interpreting them you are active.

This individual is wandering in a forest, between two extremes. In this we are united.

With words the artist makes strokes upon the canvass:
a creature of his creativity is created.

Throughout his wanderings, experiences are had – in infinite variety.

What results is placed upon the wall for all to see.
Come in and observe them!

In trying to re-present this variety he repeatedly falls short. Words fail to support him.

“What will they think?” the artist wonders.
In interpretation they are free.

free write

For the next 10 minutes I will write without rest. I have no clue what I have brought on upon myself, nor do I know what will be the results. Into the unknown I leap.

I remember that it was in 8th grade that I learned this exercise. I hated it. Part of me was intreagued by it. It’s unpleasant. As a writer, you’re on eternal search for the “right word.” You look constantly for the perfect note to use in your masterpiece. Free writing destroys that – or attempts to.

It is a terrible treatment. It feels unnatural…forced…contrived. Initially.

After some practice – and that’s a gross understatement – taking this approach, or rather, this exercise becomes second nature. Although not truly free writing, my style of blogging is very similar. The difference: I do not usually force myself to write for a given period of time. Therefore, I am somewhat used to this.

This time, it is slightly different than usual. For this post, I am writing continuously for 10 minutes. Continuously blathering on. Continuously writing nonsense. Continuously writing words. Continuously this, continuously that. Rambling on and on. No end in sight.

I will stop. That is BS. I will try to stop.

As I jot down these rambling words, it is currently 5:20 pm. I have already published 1 blog post today, and have finished another. This is my second free write.

I am absolutely on fire. Creatively, that is. It’s actually annoying…annoying that sometimes I am productive as hell – whatever tha is supposed to mean – while other times it is nearly impossible for me to write.

The words flow

The words flow onwards, like the Amazon snakes its way through the lush rainforest. It flows on. They flow on. They flow on, but not as long. Thankfully!

Before writing this – a good 20 minutes before – I was low. Lows are great, aren’t they? No? Great! You’re sane!

Thou shalt pace thyself

As I continue reestablishing skillful diabetes management habits, I need to pace myself.

I’d experienced diabetes burnout from September until the middle of December, during which I formed numerous unskillful habits. For instance, I was only testing twice a day, I didn’t change my pump site as often as I should, etc. Given the plethora of bad habits I had formed, I’m basically starting from square one.

Given the magnitude of the task at hand, it’s essential that I focus on one or two habits at a time; otherwise, I risk overwhelming myself. I risk burning myself out all over again.

Although the road to adequate diabetes management is long, I’m certain that, so long as I pace myself, I’ll reach my destination.

The wisdom of properly pacing oneself extends to other areas of life as well. I’m currently trying to pace myself in these other areas as well. This blog is one example of where I can implement it.

Therefore, I’m going to lower my posting frequency. For the rest of January I plan on posting twice a week – on Monday and on either Thursday or Friday.

Flipping the Birdie to Perfectionism

ADHD is being particularly meddlesome today. I can’t stay focused. As soon as I focus on something, my mind starts to wonder elsewhere. I’m not even able to absorb myself into the act of writing. I’m struggling to write, and it’s not do to a lack of ideas. Rather, there’s an overabundance of them.

I say this to bring to light a fact about blogging: it doesn’t always come easy. Oftentimes, a lot of work goes on “behind the scene’s.” What the reader is left with is a heavily polished product. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. I just don’t want my blog to be like that.

I want to have a blog that takes a more avant-garde approach… yet, I want readers – a lot of them. These two aims can and will clash.

I don’t want to allow any facade’s to be erected. I want my imperfections as a writer to shine through. This contrary to my own perfectionism, my societies unhealthy obsession with perfection, and, sometimes, writing conventions. I do this not as an end in itself, but as a statement.

Perfectionism isn’t good for anybody. For people with type 1 diabetes it’s particularly bad. [distracted by snow] Prior to being distractedly, I did have a complete thought – and I still remember it – but I’m not going to complete it. [briefly distracted by nothing in particular].

I’m not leaving that thought incomplete in order to be an asshole. I’m leaving it incomplete in order to given you a taste of what it’s like to have ADHD. Look on the bright side: you don’t have to deal with a mind that’s so unfocused…so easily distracted.

Anyways…I to get some more coffee and get back to putting finishing touches on the post I’ve been trying to get done. You’ll see that one later.

PS this short post (somehow) took 48 minutes to complete