Diabetes and mental health – more specifically the connection between the two – fascinates me. I am excited. I am also concerned. Will I be able to have a narrow focus? Will I ramble on? Heck…will this post even make sense?!
The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor.
~ Albert Camus
We all have rocks to roll. Blood glucose levels are one of mine.
By unfamiliar forces condemned, I roll this rock up the hill of perfection, only to fail…repeatedly.
Now I stand face to face with my own humanity.
Smacked by the futility of the task, consciousness of my predicament arises. Responsibility drops on my shoulders. The moment of decision has arrived.
A book of options is presented. I am free to look it over, free to choose.
Human agency makes its entrance.
My reaction is not predestined.
Inclined towards my habits, the familiar option is chosen. All others are ignored.
For one reason among many, with a spirit of adventure I’m filled, and I decide to forsake my habits. I choose a novel option.
Both of these paths I have traversed.
Which course will I follow?
————
Implicit herein lies most of the mental health difficulties I have faced whilst living with diabetes for the last 12 years.
I hope that some beams of light shine through as well.
————
In the past, I have described in greater specificity some of the psychological challenges that I have faced. In the future I will likely divulge more.
A broad approach for a broad topic. That is the approach I have taken here.
————
Update: I experienced diabetes-related anxiety after publishing this post, which you can read about here:
https://t1dme.wordpress.com/2014/05/14/speaking-of-diabetes-and-mental-health/
t1dme 
A very “deep” and thoughtful blogpost but I think you’re saying we have a choice even though we have to keep rolling that diabetes rock up the mountain.
Also, check your link on the dBlogWeek site. It didn’t work for me.
That is one of the things I was trying to say, yes.
We all have our own burdens to carry. We have some freedom in where we carry it and how we decide to carry it. That realization helps me cope with the difficulties. At the same time, it has also been the source of problems.
Thanks for informing me of my dead link. It doesn’t work for me either.
Link is all fixed!! 🙂 And thank you for this moving post – I can relate to endlessly pushing that rock.
No problem! Thank you for creating DBlogWeek! I had read about Sisyphus a while back, and was looking for a way to incorporate his story into a blog post. This prompt gave me the opportunity to do just that.
Sisyphus is a perfect metaphor for so many days with diabetes. We may not have much choice about pushing the rock but so many other choices in the process.
I thought the same thing when I first read that excerpt from Camus.
As I see it, we are ALWAYS pushing the rock (more accurately, rocks) – we just don’t always realize it. When we pass a certain threshold, and the stone starts rolling down the hill, we become cognizant of our burden. I acknowledge this so that, when I do give in to the rocks weight, I am not unpleasantly surprised. Acknowledging this, I can also take preventative steps to lessen the likelihood of it happening.